Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Change: Supporting Children (and Ourselves) Through Life’s Transitions

Just like a chameleon, we all adapt to the changes in our environment, sometimes visibly, sometimes within. Change is part of what makes us resilient.

Change is Inevitable, But Not Always Comfortable

There’s only one thing we can guarantee in life; that is that things will change.

Whether it’s a new school year, a family move, or a shifting friendship dynamic, change is woven into the fabric of life. As adults, we often underestimate just how deeply these emotional transitions in childhood impact our kids, and ourselves. Even positive changes, like graduating to a new grade or starting a long-anticipated activity, can stir up emotions we don’t expect.

At Sapling Minds, I work closely with families to navigate these emotional transitions with compassion and intention. July’s theme, Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Change, shines a light on the real, raw, and necessary emotional work that underpins growth.

Why Emotions Run High During Transitions

Big life changes are rarely neat and tidy. Instead, they unfold like a story in motion, sometimes exhilarating, sometimes unsettling, often both. For primary school-aged children, emotional transitions can shake their sense of safety and identity. We often consider the impact of change on teenagers in high school, but the impact during primary school can be just as, if not more so, pronounced than those later teen years.

You might notice your usually confident child becoming clingy or short-tempered. Or your independent tween suddenly needing more reassurance than usual. This isn’t regression, it’s an emotional recalibration.

There are many common transitions that can trigger emotional responses, such as

• Starting a new school or changing classrooms

• Moving house or adjusting to a new routine

• Changing family dynamics (separation, a new sibling, or parental job loss)

• Social shifts (friendship changes, bullying, puberty)

These are all part of the emotional transitions in childhood that shape resilience, self-understanding, and future coping skills.

Naming What We’re Feeling: The Power of Emotional Literacy

We’ve all seen or heard the meme about what it means when someone says “I’m fine”, and typically this is followed with some sort of indication of a fiery explosion waiting to happen!

Kids (and adults) often say “I’m fine” when what they really mean is “I’m scared,” “I’m overwhelmed,” or “I miss how things used to be.”

One of the most powerful tools we can offer our children is a richer emotional vocabulary. When a child can say, “I feel nervous because I don’t know anyone in my new class,” they are no longer at the mercy of unspoken fear. They’re taking the first step toward emotional regulation.

Here is a practical idea for supporting your child to learn this powerful skill of emotional literacy. Create an “emotion wall” at home to increase literacy – kind of like the books we used to read to our toddlers when they were young to support them learning colours, shapes, letters and numbers. This wall would be a space filled with post-it notes with different feelings that everyone can refer to. Include nuanced ones that will expand learning like:

• Disappointed

• Embarrassed

• Hopeful

• Nostalgic

• Grateful

• Restless

The more specific we can be, the better we understand ourselves.

A Real-Life Moment of Growth

Let’s explore the challenges facing one mum, who I will call Zoe for this story, and how her 10-year-old son started acting out after their family moved interstate. He became withdrawn and stopped wanting to attend his new school. Instead of jumping into “fix-it” mode, she tried something different, she sat with him each afternoon and just listened. No solutions. No rushed pep talks. Just the art of active listening.

After a week of these quiet conversations, he finally said, “I miss my old school because I felt known there.”

That moment unlocked a new level of understanding between them. He didn’t need a fix, he needed to feel safe naming his grief. That’s the magic of tapping into active listening during emotional transitions.

Identity in Flux: Who Am I Now?

For children, big life changes often come with an identity shift. That new school isn’t just a different building, it might feel like a whole new version of themselves is being called forward.

Similarly, parents also experience identity transitions, returning to work, career changes, retrenchment, separation from a spouse, or becoming a carer for additional loved ones. It’s normal to feel untethered.

Ask yourself (and your child):

• What part of me feels unsure right now?

• What part of me feels ready?

These questions invite reflection rather than reactivity, and bring clarity to our changing inner worlds.

Quick Summary Box: How to Support Emotional Transitions in Childhood

✅ Normalise the Messiness: Big feelings are part of change. Let your child know it’s okay to feel nervous, sad, or even angry.

✅ Use Emotional Language Often: Don’t save deep conversations for meltdowns. Talk about feelings daily in a more casual setting to help kids develop their emotional literacy and feel comfortable speaking with loved ones about what they’re feeling.

✅ Pause to Listen Instead of Responding, Don’t Rush to Fix: Sometimes what your child needs most is your presence, not a solution.

✅ Anchor With Routines: In uncertain times, predictability offers calm.

✅ Model Vulnerability: Share your own feelings about change. It teaches empathy and honesty.

✅ Celebrate the Little Wins: Growth hides in the small moments, acknowledge them.

Coaching Families Through Transitions

When families are navigating emotional transitions in childhood or adulthood, having the right kind of support can make all the difference. That’s why I offer transition coaching where I am supporting families who are experiencing change and want to move through it with strength, self-awareness, and connection.

Whether your child is struggling with school-related anxiety, you’ve been made redundant and are exploring your new identify, or you’re feeling uncertain about a recent change in your family life, I can work with you (and your child) to co-create a resilient, compassionate approach.

👉 Want to explore transition coaching for your family? Use the button below to book a call to learn more about how we can work together.

Free Consultation

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Final Thoughts: Change Is Messy, And That’s Okay!

The emotional terrain of change is rarely smooth, but that doesn’t mean we’re doing it wrong. It means we’re growing.

By meeting transitions with curiosity, empathy, and open communication, we help our children (and ourselves) build not just resilience, but authenticity, flexibility, and courage. These are the skills that support lifelong wellbeing.

So, if you or your child are in the midst of a change, know this: you’re not alone. Growth is happening, even when it’s hard to see.

What’s one emotion you’ve felt recently during a life transition, and what would it mean to honour that feeling rather than rush past it?

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