Why January Doesn’t Need to Be a Race (and What it Means for Emotional Wellbeing in Families)

Aliesha Embleton
7 days ago
4 min read

A meme about January being the Monday of months added to an article about what it means for emotional wellbeing in families

One of my favourite memes from earlier this month read:

“Welcome January! ... the Monday of months.”

And honestly, it feels right.

There’s an energetic kick-off buzz of fresh notebooks, colour-coded lists, optimism swirling in the air, and yet beneath it, a quiet push to be faster, better, happier, organised, present, calm, productive, glowing…

All by January 15.

We seem to have this need to sprint into a new year.

And somewhere between the holiday leftovers and the first school drop-off, many of us feel like we’re supposed to be not just refreshed, but reinvented.

But here's the question nobody asks:

What if the pressure to “improve” at the start of a new year is actually getting in the way of real, meaningful growth?

The internalised treadmill of improvement

We grow up learning a simple equation:

Better outcomes = better effort

Better effort = better self

This is reinforced everywhere: in schools, workplaces, social feeds, performance metrics, and diaries filled with “priority tasks”.

For many women, especially mothers, this translates into an emotional treadmill:

Go harder

Go earlier

Go deeper

Go longer

Go until you're tired, then go some more

And the trouble with this mindset is that it treats growth like a destination, something you reach, not something you live inside.

It frames January as a deadline… rather than the start of an ongoing, lifelong journey.

What we overlook in the pressure to “improve”

When we prioritise achieving goals above all else, we subtly teach children something they don’t need:

that self-worth comes from performance.

This shows up as:

measuring a day by what was done rather than how you feel;
equating productivity with value;
defining success by outcomes instead of effort and presence;
comforting children for results rather than for courage.

And in the process, we miss something huge:

many of the skills that matter most aren’t measurable.

They’re felt.

They’re lived.

They’re not counted on a report card or a checklist.

They show up as:

confidence that doesn’t need applause;
curiosity that survives mistakes;
emotional safety in uncertainty;
calm held before stress becomes overwhelming.

What January could be instead

Instead of racing toward a new version of yourself, what if January became the month you accept the parts of you that are still growing?

Not shoved aside or ignored.

Not compartmentalised.

Not X-ed off a list.

But recognised.

Because growth rooted in judgement isn’t growth at all, it’s anxiety disguised as improvement.

And here’s the twist:

Children don’t need adults who are perfect. They need adults who are present, emotionally aware, and steady.

This doesn’t mean larger-than-life transformation. It means:

noticing what feels hard,
acknowledging what feels good,
tolerating uncertainty,
staying curious about your own patterns,
practising compassion for your inner world.

These are more than just tasks. They’re human skills. And they matter.

A gentle shift in focus

At Sapling Minds, we talk a lot about emotional skills for children because so often they’re missing from formal learning.

But here’s something that deserves equal attention:

children learn emotional habits from the adults around them.

They watch:

how we talk to ourselves when things don’t go to plan
how we manage expectations we set for ourselves
how we respond to discomfort and disappointment
how we calm ourselves when we feel unsteady

They learn resilience from our success just as much as from how we model self-regulation in all the other moments.

The inner dialogue children absorb is more than just what we say to them. It’s what they hear and notice us say to ourselves (both what we say out loud, but also through our externalised behaviours and actions that reflect our inner voice).

What good support looks like

That’s why in January, it’s worth asking a different question:

Not “What should I improve?”

But “How can I support the emotional tone of this year?”

This reframes growth as: