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Parenting is one of the most rewarding roles we’ll ever take on, but it can also be overwhelming, especially in today’s culture, where many parents feel the pressure to handle everything themselves. In decades past, families had extended relatives, neighbours, and local communities who all pitched in to raise children collectively. This shared responsibility not only eased the strain on parents but also created a rich environment for children, who benefited from the positive influence of multiple caring adults. As we adapt to the modern parenting landscape, one thing is clear: we still need that village to support the wellbeing of both children and parents.
What Does a Village Approach to Parenting Look Like?
A village approach to parenting is grounded in the belief that parents don’t have to shoulder every responsibility alone. Instead, they can share in a supportive network of people who offer guidance, assistance, and community. In many traditional societies, parenting is considered a communal effort, with relatives and neighbours playing a hands-on role in children’s lives. This shared approach fosters an environment of learning and growth, where children experience positive social interactions and role models beyond their immediate family.
In modern society, our “village” might look different. It could include other parents, teachers, mentors, coaches, and trusted family friends. With today’s mobility, where families may live far from extended relatives, communities often form in unexpected places: online parenting groups, neighbourhood networks, school communities, and local clubs or activity groups. Whatever shape it takes, a village offers resources, wisdom, and a built-in support system.
The Psychological Benefits of Having a Parenting Village
Leaning on a supportive community has profound benefits for both parents and children, rooted in psychological and social research. Parenting on one’s own can lead to high levels of stress, burnout, and even isolation, as parents feel they are constantly “on” without a break. Support from a community helps reduce stress, allowing parents to recharge and focus more meaningfully on time with their children. When parents are less stressed and feel supported, they are more equipped to be emotionally present, which is essential for nurturing a secure parent-child relationship.
Social connections also play a key role in mental health, as we are all wired for connection. Studies show that having a reliable support network boosts overall wellbeing and resilience. For children, having a network of caring adults helps them feel safe, loved, and understood, promoting their sense of belonging and self-worth. In a communal setting, children witness healthy social interactions, learn positive communication skills, and see firsthand the importance of cooperation and empathy.
Real-Life Examples of Community Support in Action
Imagine a family facing a major life transition, like moving to a new city. This kind of upheaval can be overwhelming, not only for parents juggling logistics but also for children adjusting to new routines and friendships. With a supportive village, this family can find resources more easily – neighbours might offer local insights, nearby friends might introduce the child to playmates, and other parents can help fill in gaps with carpooling or sharing activities. This community network can smooth the adjustment period for the whole family, creating a buffer against the stress that often accompanies significant changes.
In another case, a single parent navigating the challenges of balancing work and childcare could benefit immensely from the presence of a village. Friends, neighbours, and other parents might step in for occasional babysitting, meal sharing, or even just emotional support, reducing the sense of isolation and overwhelm that single parents often face. For the child, this network provides role models, stability, and security, helping them feel connected to a broader support system.
Long-Term Benefits for Children and Parents
Children who grow up with a village of caring adults around them gain an advantage when it comes to building resilience. Having various people to talk to and learn from can help children feel supported through challenges and emotionally secure. Studies show that children who have close relationships with more than one caring adult display greater confidence, perform better academically, and are more likely to develop a healthy sense of independence.
For parents, a village-style approach can reduce the risk of burnout, which has long-term benefits for the entire family. Parental burnout can lead to mental health issues, including depression and anxiety, and affect the quality of interactions between parent and child. But by leaning on a village, parents can model a balanced approach to life that prioritises wellbeing and interdependence, demonstrating to their children the importance of community and self-care.
Practical Steps to Create Your Own Village
Building a supportive network around you and your child might take some time, but with a few intentional steps, you can start connecting with others in meaningful ways. Here are some practical actions you can take to build your village:
Connect Locally and Online: Join local parenting groups or online communities where you can share experiences and exchange tips. Many parents find comfort in knowing they’re not alone in their struggles.
Ask for Help When Needed: Be open to asking for help from neighbours, friends, and family members. Whether it’s carpooling, babysitting, or simply lending an ear, most people are more than willing to pitch in when asked.
Foster Reciprocal Relationships: Building a village means creating mutually beneficial relationships. Offer help when you can, as supporting others will strengthen the connections within your community.
Get Involved in Local Activities: Volunteering at school, joining local clubs, or attending community events can help you connect with other families and strengthen your sense of belonging.
Encourage Children to Build Their Own Connections: Teach your child the value of community by helping them build friendships and connections with neighbours and peers, reinforcing their sense of belonging and support.
Final Thoughts: Why a Village Matters
Parenting isn’t meant to be a solo journey. By creating and leaning on a village of trusted, caring people, you’re not only enhancing your own wellbeing but also setting a powerful example for your child. You’re showing them the value of connection, community, and mutual support – qualities that will serve them well into adulthood. Remember, reaching out isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a way to build strength, resilience, and happiness for you and your family. Embrace the village and give your family the supportive foundation they deserve.
Use the below link to book a complementary call with Aliesha and see how her support can contribute to your village.
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